Let’s Finally Nail Down Joe Burrow’s Nickname

Joe Burrow is all over the news as we ramp up to the Super Bowl, and as I listen to segment after segment it’s clear that America is having a crisis in trying to decide on his nickname.

If he’s going to be an icon of the NFL, he needs to have one nickname, and it needs to be a banger. It has to fit; the man from Ohio has swagger, a sense of humor, toughness, and talent.

A great nickname needs to incorporate more than one of these traits.

So here goes- I’ve put a list together of names I’ve heard and names I’ve made up myself:

Self explanatory:

• King of Queen City

• Joe Cool

• Joe Brrr

• Jackpot Joey

• Smokin’ Joe

Deep Cuts:

• Ryan Day’s Biggest Oversight – never a good look to have a Heisman winner exit your program

• Throwin’ Alone Joe – I think he looks like Macaulay Culkin, and he’s often left without protection

• Throwin’ Alone Joe: Lost in LA – If he bombs in the SB

• White Chocolate – obligatory for any talented white guy who wears a chain

• Tiger King – no one wants to remember where they were when that was popular

My Finalists:

• Joseph Ballin’ – he’s a great comrade

• Dimebag Joey – the man deals. A little bit ironic too, because his babyface makes you think he hands out bibles on college campuses.

• Big Throw Joe – I love a good rhyming nickname, and the guy loves a schoolyard miracle launch

And if anyone knows about launchin’, it’s me at Federales:

Let’s get on the same page here. Joe Burrow needs one nickname.

Plenty of options here, but we need to decide before Sunday. The nickname confusion has gone on too long! If you think you have a better one, leave a comment below.